End of Life & Mourning

The last days of one’s life or of a loved one’s life can be complex emotional experiences– at times painful and confusing, at times moving and loving. Our clergy are here to offer pastoral care and visit with you during this time. Please keep us updated by contacting the clergy at clergy@bethelnr.org or 914-235-2700.

Next Steps

When a member or the loved one of a member dies, contact our clergy by calling our emergency line at 914-235-2700, followed by *. Once you leave a message, a member of our clergy team will contact you to guide you through funeral arrangements and walk you through the elements of a funeral and planning for shiva. Once these arrangements have been made, we will notify the community of your loss.

A time for the funeral should not be set with the funeral home until the officiating rabbi has been consulted.

If a loved one dies on Shabbat or a Jewish holiday, there is no need to call the emergency line until after Shabbat or the holiday ends. Tradition requires that funeral arrangements be made only after Shabbat or the holiday ends, though Jewish funeral homes do take calls on Shabbat. If a message is left on the emergency line during Shabbat or a holiday you will receive a call back after Shabbat or the holiday ends.

We are here to guide you through making the arrangements for a funeral that honors the life of your loved ones and supports you through your grief.

Cemetery Plots

Beth El owns plots in two cemeteries in Westchester: Mount Eden in Hawthorne and Sharon Gardens in Valhalla. Plots are available for purchase by Beth El members. To purchase cemetery plots please contact Liz Clain at eclain@bethelnr.org or 914-235-2700, ext. 225.

Funerals at Beth El

Funerals may take place at Beth El Synagogue Center if the deceased is a member in good standing at Beth El or if a Beth El member has experienced the loss of a family member for whom the Beth El member is obligated to say kaddish. For information about funeral services at Beth El, please contact Liz Clain at eclain@bethelnr.org or 914-235-2700, ext. 225.

Mourning

Our clergy and community are here to support you through this difficult time. Our rabbis and cantor are available to meet with you and walk you through shiva and sheloshim and to offer pastoral support as you mourn. We have also created a written guide for mourners that covers some of the rituals and elements of the mourning period. Beth El’s Chesed Community sends a Shabbat dinner during Shiva.

Saying Kaddish

There is a tradition to say the mourner’s kaddish prayer daily–for eleven months after the loss of a parent and for thirty days after the loss of other relatives–with a minyan.

If you would like to sign up for minyan please contact Cantor Gaby at gschvartz@bethelnr.org. You can also join us by Zoom here.